What does a healthy relationship look like this Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating love. Love for yourself. Love for your romantic or sexual partners. Love for your friends and whānau. But sometimes, even if we like or love someone, a relationship can be unhealthy. Let’s consider what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like. 

If you’re in a healthy relationship with someone, they might:

• Make you feel safe
• Make you feel good about yourself
• Support you do things that make you feel happy
• Encourage healthy relationships with your other friends and whānau
• Support you to make your own choices 

We took to the streets and asked people what they think makes a healthy relationship. Keep reading to see what they had to say.

There can be red flags, or warning signs, of unhealthy or abusive relationships.  
If you’re an unhealthy relationship with someone, they might:

• Control your decisions
• Put you down
• Deal with conflict badly
• Lovebomb (moving the relationship forward fast, give you lots of gifts and gestures, and use this to control you)
• Have unpredictable moods or behaviours 

These are just some examples. It’s important to think about what’s important to you and what your personal red flags are.

If you’re not sure if something is normal, talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend or whānau member, or someone else you trust. There are also specific organisations that can help with information and advice about relationships.

If you think your relationship might be unhealthy or you’re worried about your safety, reach out for support. You could talk to someone you trust, like a friend or whānau member, or check out one of the following organisations:

• Love Better has information about safe, positive, and equal relationships.
• Lovecreep has information about controlling behaviours in relationships.
• Are you OK, and its 24-hour helpline 0800 456 450, provides advice and support for people in unsafe relationships. 

The Sexual Harm Helpline is free, confidential, and available 24 hours, 7 days a week. You can contact trained specialists by:

Free call: 0800 044 334
Text: 4334